Search This Blog

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Why India?





By far the question I have been asked the most since our adoption announcement has been "Why India?" so I thought I would divulge...

It would be oversimplifying our journey to say that 'we were called to India' when in reality our decision has been a conscious culmination of life vision, love of culture, spirit of adventure, and desire adopt a child that may not have a chance otherwise as well as that divine direction that inexplicably nudges one towards a certain path.

When Mark and  I have talked abstractly about our individual ten-year-plans we have always seemed to have a certain cohesion including some sort of humanitarian work focused on women and children and up until recently we have kept this general direction but have lacked in the specifics department. Once we began the process of looking at all the different adoption options the specifics began to slowly reveal themselves to us and we can now say that our future work will focus on the women and children of India as well as the needs of the families adopting from there. Our trip to pick up our little girl will not be our last time in country in fact, it will likely be the first of many.

So what does our ten-year-plan have to do with our adoption country of choice?

Well, we felt very strongly about adopting from a part of the world that we want to and already have incorporate aspects of into our every day life. We wanted Petal to know about where she came from and to be connected to the people and culture that she was born into. We wanted to find a country that we connect with on multiple levels and we have fallen in love with the wonderful culture of India.

We also feel that our previous adoption experience has prepared us to deal with the trauma and attachment issues that often come with international adoption. Our eldest, who was adopted from the foster system, has given us such incite into the adopted mind and has helped us not only become better parents to him and to our biological children but has also taught us to research, hoard information, and parent proactively instead of reactively. Over the years we have collected knowledge on numerous topics and are much better prepared to love all of our children through the difficult times ahead no matter their origin.

I hope that this  helps others to understand our path but if anyone has questions about India or adoption in general please ask! We would love to share and look forward to helping others understand adoption.

And to end...



Sunday, October 12, 2014

We Are Adopting... Again



A couple of you know and a few you of may have heard talk but most of our friends and family are in for a bit of a shock. I don't think that many people look at our family and expected for it to grow again, especially after our last pregnancy scare and immediately scheduled snip-snip, but after years of this idea being planted in our heads and months of cultivating it, mulling over the logistics, and preparing to open our hearts, we have decided to move forward and complete our family with the addition of another tiny little life.

Yay!

But wait... why? How? And, by God WHY?

Well, lets start with the why...

Service has always been a big part of our relationship as a married couple and it has taken us on many adventures from, supporting friends on mission trips, giving to our local church and community, providing emergency placements for children entering the foster system and, before this point, had culminated with the adoption of our eldest from the before mentioned foster system.

This service to others has brought so much joy to our lives so when the idea surfaced of providing a forever family to an orphaned Indian girl it felt like more than a perfect fit. For us adoption is that wonderful blurry line where service ceases to be work and becomes something much more honest and beautiful- it becomes intentional living. We are choosing not to let life simply happen but rather to use our resources: our house, our money, our time, and our love to serve others, specifically to serve a little girl who in our house has earned the precious nickname Petal.

What it come down to for us is that all of the little inconveniences that we debated over 'Where would Petal sleep?', 'How would we pay for the adoption (because let me tell you, it ain't cheap!)?',  and 'Where would our three children stay while Mark and I were in country for a month?' 'Would they come with us?!'. All of these issues, although they can seem insurmountable at times, matter so little when compared to the issues millions of orphans face daily. Is it right for us to let a little money and inconvenience override a child's right to a home and family? Well let me answer that for you with a BIG. FAT. NO.

NO!!

The thought of a tiny child laying in an institution, crying with no one to calm her, no one to call out for help to brings me to tears every time. Yes, I am tearing up right now, Seeing the photos of these kids and the hope deep in their eyes reminds me of why all the waiting and the bureaucracy are so very worth it! They are so very worth it.

Now, this post is not a call to adoption as we are well aware that adoption is not an easy road and just because you are 'called' to it does not make it any easier. Believe me, I know. Nor is adoption something that everyone should do. Knowing one's strengths and limits is a *good* thing. It is a *smart* thing. But, for those of us called to adopt bringing a child into our home is a rare gift where we not only get to become a parent (one of the best gifts in the world in my humble opinion) but we also have the chance to offer love to a child who may not ever get the chance to be a part of a family without us. What better reason does one need?


As a side note...

The idea of documenting all of our ups and all of our downs in a blog is intimidating as I am a very private person, but as Mark and I were going through the decision making process the ability to read and learn about the journeys others have taken down this road of adoption was so helpful and I love being able to offer the same information and help to others. So, to wrap this up, I would like to welcome anyone interested in following us on our elephant pregnancy to subscribe to this blog or read at leisure.

Till next time.